I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
