PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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