a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
