so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she looked like the before picture.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
