you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
