I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
