Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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