My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
