My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
