Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
