Umm I'm too high to move.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
