My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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