i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
