ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
