one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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