Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
