Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
