John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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