worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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