Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
