the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dicks are not precious.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
