it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
