Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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