great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
