Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
