God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
