my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
