I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dignity is for republicans.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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