Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
