just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
