To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
there's paper in my vomit.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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