Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
