My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
