omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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