I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The maid of honor just puked.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
