I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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