You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
