sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
