You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
