haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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