So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
