You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
