people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
