wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Barsexuality is the new black.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
