xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize