I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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