so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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