My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
