sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
