Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
